tops 5-28

I stayed the same didn't lose didn't gain. I was expecting to gain after memorial day weekend with the hamburgers and fajitas and kabobs and cake I ate. I went to the Y yesterday. I did water aerobics, weight lifting and belly dance class, so maybe that made a difference. This week I am getting back on track.

Feeling a little productive, a little crazy

I think I am on the manic side of my disorder. I have been feeling very productive. I have not gone to the Y this week for aquasize or belly dance but I had things I just have been neglecting at home. Namely It is time for spring cleaning and I still have a lot to get done. I spent the day before yesterday filing papers and cleaning my room, I still haven't washed the windows, but I did dust and sweep and mop and vacuum I filed papers, I went through the junk and got a box together to donate the the local spca thrift store. I cleaned the kitchen I still need to clean the refrigerator. I would really like to get new kitchen cabinets , however I would settle for a little paint, perhaps different pull tabs and some new contact paper that isn't from the seventies to line the cabinets with. I could really go for new counter top that doesn't leak. A roof that doesn't leak, and a new drainage system, insulation, new windows. The list never ends when you are keeping up in a 108 year old house. I spent time with my Lolo . Maybe the spring cleaning put a little glimmer in my day and once I get the windows clean and maybe some new curtains and a little paint, a new rug I could almost have a makeover for about 200$ I would also like to find some good art to put on the wall in our room. I am still contemplating how to do it. Never the less I feel like I have actually been able to accomplish some chores at home WHOO HOO! Nothing like the feeling of having everything spruced up and in order. I ate pizza for dinner and lunch today. It was garlic chicken flavor and now my husband only wants to give me little kisses because I have stinky garlic breath. Oh well!

Trying not to sink

I am trying not to sink into my old ways, my depression. I gained 1.5 pounds this week. Haven't been keeping track, barely been exercising, been very tired and just feel like I have no energy, I think part of it is allergies.

Run amuck

This photographer Frank Haxton - Digiman Photography- took some great pictures at the Reno River Festival. They are not only great photographs, but they are entertaining, if you are like me, a person who enjoys watching people. One thing I found very inspiring about these photos where how healthy and fit many of the team members where, they looked vibrant and healthy, and muscular. I hope one day I will feel comfortable enough in my own skin, look back in the mirror and say wow, I look healthy. I know a lot of it is my weight, but it is also my diet, my stress level, my time management skills, my mental state. I see pictures of myself and I have bags under my eyes and dark circles, I just look so tired, I have also been feeling very tired. Could it be allergies? I feel I am getting better every day I am moving forward and learning to be ever so gentle and patient with myself. I am taking better care of myself but I have such a long way to go, with everything, mentally, emotionally,spiritually. How easy it is to sometimes forget how very lucky and blessed we are just to breath, just to be alive. I know that part of my issue is my diet. I felt so much more energetic and healthy when I was eating more raw fruits and vegetables, nuts, and seeds, drinking more water, taking a vitamin if I could remember to.

Today I had a cup of coffee with cream, some custard, a chicken sandwich with a few criss cut fries, a chicken ceasar salad. A stawberry milkshake.

I've been fighting a cold or allergies maybe?

I did manage half an hour on the elliptical. I am not sure if its allergies or a cold I am fighting, but my throat hurts. I cant remember all of what I ate over the weekend but it was not a good weekend. I will get myself back to where I need to be. Today I had coffee, an orange, some tropical fruit, a sweet mashed potato with brown sugar and a little butter 3 baby back ribs, a chalupa and a gordita from taco bell, a pickle, 3 slices of salami, a graham cracker, 2 marshmallows.
Overall not a great day but I am rededicating myself. I really appreciate the comments I got from Irene and Felicia, they are encouraging and remind why I am doing this in the first place, because I don't want to go backwards I want a better tomorrow. Thanks so much!

I'm sure I have gained

I need to get my motivation back. Monday night I did an hour on the elliptical and Tuesday morning I did do an hour long belly dance class, the problem? I have been eating horribly and not keeping track again--Sometimes change is a challenge. My husband has been trying to be supportive and keep me on track. Although I do appreciate it, when he points out what I am doing to be self destructive, it irritates me, mainly because I know I am making a lousy choice as well but at that point I really do want to eat ice cream, and steak for breakfast.

Need to get back to basics in health

If I do not exercise and eat right I do not have any energy and then, I don't feel like exercising or eating right. So I have been battling this . Thursday I didn't do so hot, I ate left over broasted chicken( two drum sticks and a thigh) with honey mustard for a very late breakfast . I didn't eat lunch. I had a baked potato with broccoli, cauliflower, cheese, turkey, bacon, onions and a salad for dinner. I also had 3 chips of hoy cookies. The only exercise I got was dancing around with Lolo